Thursday, May 22, 2014

A Host of Posts...

I really wanted to call this post "Blog Vomit," but decided against it.

This post is really going to be a bunch of small posts.

1) My mom had surgery last night. Again. She had her gall bladder removed recently. She just hasn't been improving. So last night they went back in to clean the infection out of her pancreas. The hope is that this will help her recover. I hope so anyway. I worry about her. So, Chelsea and I are going to go to St. George to visit her on Saturday. There are some who would say we should visit my dad as well while we're there. I'm not ready to do that, though. Why? Because I'm...

2) "Not Ready to Make Nice." I love this Dixie Chicks song. I know I should forgive my father for the hurt he caused me. I'm just not ready to yet. I'm also still angry at him for what he wrote to me. And I'm mad that, due to Dad's loss of memory, I can't work it out with him. I have to do it all on my own. Once I can deal with my issues I'll be ready to visit my father.

3) I can't wait for the end of June. Chelsea and I are going to the American Library Association convention in Las Vegas. She'll be working, but I can't wait to explore the exhibit hall. There's even going to be a comic book artist in Artist Alley. I want to have him sign a comic book or two.

4) My job requires me to take five consecutive days off. I'm taking these the week following the convention. This will allow me to recover from being around all those people. It will also give me time to decide which grad programs I want to apply to this fall. I also plan on applying for a couple jobs. Don't get me wrong, I love my current position, but I need a job that makes more money. I also would like a position outside of Utah. I would like to live elsewhere.

And those four points are the ones that have been weighing on my mind recently.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Throwing Snowballs at Pine Trees...

So last night Cedar City got a lot of snow. I mean it was a crazy amount of snow. 

Since we live in a basement apartment we have to cover the stairwell with a tarp when it storms unless we want to get flooded. 

When I woke up this morning I went to shake the snow off the tarp so I could let the dogs out. I looked around and saw all the trees weighted down with snow. I would guess we got at least a foot. Not that the entire fall accumulated on the ground, we probably had six to eight inches on the lawn.

I let the dogs out, put on a shirt, and went back outside to see if I could save the branches. And the power lines that the heavy branches were hanging over. We lost one branch of the quaking aspen before I got outside. I later discovered that the smaller of the two pine trees in the back yard had gone roots up, completely fallen over. I shoveled our pathway then started hitting branches with the shovel to shake the snow loose. Then I started shaking the branches with my hands. A lot of snow fell out of the trees, much of it right on top of me, and me in my basketball shorts and a Hanes undershirt. Brrr!

I could see that the upper branches of the still-standing pine tree were heavy-laden with snow. I had no way to get close enough to shake them, and the trunk was too sturdy to move. Then I had a brain-flash. Maybe I could shake the branches by throwing snowballs!

It worked, to an extent. My arm got tired quickly, and my aim isn't all that great, but I think the little I did helped. The pine tree didn't break any branches anyway, so I call that a win.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014


I had two odd things happen to me yesterday that I'm still puzzling my way through.

At lunch I was sitting in my car, getting ready to go back to work at the bank when I had a flashback. I remembered working at Convergys. It wasn't all that long ago that I worked there, about 15 months or so, so it's not all that odd that I am able to remember it. What makes it odd is that I absolutely hated working there.

Even more odd, the mere fact of remembering working there nearly caused me to have a panic attack. 

Last night I dreamed I was still working there. I logged on and off the phone, had conversations with people who were calling in. It was a dream, so things were a little different. You know, my current coworkers were there, the colors were different, things like that. 

I was woken up by Chelsea coming to bed. I don't know that I've ever been so grateful to be woken up.

I got up and went to the bathroom. When I got back, Chelsea apologized for waking me. I told her I was grateful. Then I went back to sleep. Luckily, I didn't return to Convergys.

These experiences got me to thinking, "What if I still had to work there? What if I hadn't found a job at the bank?" This was a sobering thought. If I'm honest with myself, with the way I felt after working for Convergys for only 3 months, if I had to stay there for well over a year there's a very real possibility that I would have taken my own life. 

It's not a pleasant thought and it makes me that much more grateful for the job I have now. I don't love every day, but I enjoy  my job and my coworkers. I like what I do. Is it my forever career? No. It is a good place for me to be right now while Chelsea and I work out what to do next.

Thank goodness for good jobs.